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Mech
Joined: 06 Jun 2001
Posts: 8237
Location: THE 4th REICH USA |
 Tue Nov 23, 2004 9:48 pm
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You should have played "louie, Louie" on the pipe organ...mabye the nun would have taken off her habit and danced in the pews. |
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Thetaloops
Joined: 29 Sep 2003
Posts: 151
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Wed Nov 24, 2004 5:21 am
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Those stories are hilarious. From Virgin Sandwichs to Bleeding Statues to the 'Stations of the Cross' in the Grand Canyon", they are well on there way to making their dream come true, the Apocaypse.
I have a few stories to tell, having gone to catholic school from Kindergarden to 5th grade.
1- First communion around age 7. After the whole incense burning and receiving the host (stale bread), we had to go back to the pews and keep our heads down, kneeling. I, of course, was looking around and I see one of the nun teachers, Sister Ignatius, who looked like a bull dog in a pengiun costume, pointing to me and to the floor threateningly, to put my head down, or else. Hey that was fun. The frilly white dress sure disguised what they are really up to. At least I wasn't an alter boy, what hang ups they must have.
2- Next Chapter was standing at the foot of a life sized Christ, hanging on the cross, with life like blood dripping and thorns on his head. At the time I was eye level with the feet with a nail through them and looking up, it was a frightening experience. I remember the terrible feeling to this day.
3- :My favorite memory. I was so upset and worked up about this religion at age 9 or so, I went to 7am mass on Sunday and proceeded to throw up in the front pew. It really made a big pew in the pew that Sunday. And at that time everyone was attending church on Sunday. I had to say extra prayers that week.
What a bunch of brainwashing. My Mom had a run in with the Mother Superior when she told my Mom she was an unfit mother. From someone who never had children that was pretty ridiculous. So From 6th on I went to Public school. After getting laughed a few times for acting like a robot in class, I started to snap out of it. And have been semi normal ever since.
And fundamentalist thinking was and is thought of as being so normal. That is the true stealth nature of religion. Sneaks in to you through the guilt and fear factors.
I still have alot of after shocks from those times. And to believe these crackpots are in power.
The Christofascists.
We got our eyes on you!!! |
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Swamp Gas
Joined: 06 Jun 2001
Posts: 4254
Location: On a Hill in the Lowlands |
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Wed Nov 24, 2004 5:37 am
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quote:
Originally posted by Mech
You should have played "louie, Louie" on the pipe organ...mabye the nun would have taken off her habit and danced in the pews.
Here is what happens after nuns hear rock and roll and Devil Music
_________________
Heard it from a pilot who spoke real gooooood! |
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Mech
Joined: 06 Jun 2001
Posts: 8237
Location: THE 4th REICH USA |
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Wed Nov 24, 2004 5:42 am
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She turns into Keith Moon.. as the "perverted nun" in Frank Zappas 200 Motels?
(see lower left hand corner) |
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Thetaloops
Joined: 29 Sep 2003
Posts: 151
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Wed Nov 24, 2004 6:02 am
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The only defense we have against them is to goof on them, because they are so serious. Swamp and I lived in Northern Phoenix, AZ in late 70's. We went in to a Southern Baptist Church and proceeded to ask questions during the mass. We continued to proposed such things as evolution and that the human brain is half male and half female in nature. They were really getting unnerved, so after the mass. They brought us into a back room and attempted to save us from the misfortune of our ways and the misunderstanding of our life.
We continued to speak of the enlightenment of the psychedelic experience and they finally politely escorted us to the door.
Religion makes people so righteous. Because they read it in the BahhhBull! |
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Swamp Gas
Joined: 06 Jun 2001
Posts: 4254
Location: On a Hill in the Lowlands |
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Wed Nov 24, 2004 2:48 pm
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You know, people should be able to believe in whatever Myth, Fantasy, or Logic they think. The problem is when they enact such belief into legislation is where a Brick Wall should come into place.
Change The Channel!!!!!
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Heard it from a pilot who spoke real gooooood! |
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KNOW-THIS
Joined: 14 Jul 2003
Posts: 3694
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Thu Nov 25, 2004 6:53 pm
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http://www.thewhig.com/webapp/sitepages/content.asp?contentid=87746&catname=Local+News
Holy fish sticks: Man says Christ-like image appears on food
By Jennifer Pritchett
Local News - Wednesday, November 24, 2004 @ 07:00
Fred Whan kept what seems to be an image of Christ in his freezer for the past year.
Yesterday, he decided it was time to thaw it out so he could sell it on eBay.
Whan had considered auctioning off a burned, battered fish stick since he heard that a Florida woman sold a decade-old grilled cheese sandwich with the toasty visage of what’s purported to be the Virgin Mary.
The sandwich drew bids in the tens of thousands of dollars on the Internet and sold for $28,000 US two days ago, according to the auction website.
Though it wasn’t exactly a sign from God that told the Kingston man to go public with his story, he felt compelled to call radio station K-Rock after he heard morning show hosts Shadoe and Taz talking about the pricey sandwich.
The next thing Whan knew, he was driving to the radio station and was soon on the air telling his story.
He recounted how he made the discovery about a year ago while cooking dinner for his kids and several other children he was babysitting in his Compton Street neighbourhood.
“I burned a few fish sticks and I said ‘Who wants a fish stick?’ and no one wanted them because they were burnt so I thought I’d better give them to the dogs,” he told The Whig-Standard.
When he flipped over one of the pieces of fish to remove it from the pan, it seemed like the face of a man was staring up at him.
“I said that looks like a rock singer and then my son goes, ‘It looks like Jesus,’ and I said ‘Well, it does yeah,’ ” he said.
Whan, 40, said that the children were all pretty quiet after he showed the fish stick to them.
They all knew who it was, he said.
The father of five figured it would make a good conversation piece for friends and decided to throw the triangular piece of fish in the freezer to keep it as a joke.
It was never about making any money from it, he said.
Though he hasn’t yet figured out the logistics of selling the piece of fish on eBay, he hopes someone will want to buy it.
He said the image speaks for itself.
“People I’ve showed it to don’t know what to say [about it],” he said. “As soon as you look at it, you see a face in it. Anybody you show it to, you don’t even have to explain, you can see the face.
“It’s different, it’s original.”
Whan, who works as a part-time labourer, said there’s nothing fishy about the image.
“I’m just glad I have the original to show people because a picture doesn’t do anything,” he said. “Anybody can take a picture and make anything phony look real. I have nothing to be phony about.
“It’s there and you either believe it or don’t believe it.”
Unlike the decade-old grilled cheese that has a bite taken out of it, the fish stick is intact without a morsel eaten.
Whan believes people will go for it.
Since the Florida woman’s famous sandwich hit eBay, a cottage industry of Virgin Mary grilled cheese paraphernalia has been unleashed on the Internet.
There are T-shirts that say, “I ate the Virgin Mary grilled cheese” on the front, with the words, “It was sacrilegious” on the back. There’s another one for sale that says, “If you grill it, she will come.”
There are also Virgin Mary grilled cheese coffee mugs, Christmas ornaments, jewelry, trading cards and even thong underwear.
One eBay seller in Michigan is offering a custom-made Virgin Mary grilled cheese sandwich, an offer for the buyer to improve on the original by picking cheddar, Swiss or American cheese. The buyer also has the option to have the Virgin Mary with one of various facial expressions listed as “religious, sincere, loving, cheerful, stout, portly, sullen, etc.”
Whan insists he isn’t a copycat out to make a fast buck.
“It wasn’t meant to be about the money,” he said.
“It was just there. It was just a [conversation] piece.”
_________________
"You find me offensive? I find you offensive, for finding me offensive" |
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Mech
Joined: 06 Jun 2001
Posts: 8237
Location: THE 4th REICH USA |
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Thu Nov 25, 2004 7:27 pm
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The Meeks shall inherit nothing: By Zappa
Some take the bible
For what it's worth
When it says that the meek
Shall inherit the Earth.
Well, I heard that some sheik
Has bought New Jersey last week
'N you suckers ain't gettin' nothin'
Is Hare Rama really wrong
If you wander around
With a napkin on
With a bell on a stick
An' your hair is all gone . . .
(The geek shall inherit nothin')
You say yer life's a bum deal
'N yer up against the wall . . .
Well, people, you ain't even got no kinda
Deal at all
'Cause what they do
In Washington
They just takes care of NUMBER ONE
An' NUMBER ONE ain't YOU
You ain't even NUMBER TWO
Those Jesus Freaks
Well, they're friendly but
The s!@# they believe
Has got their minds all shut
An' they don't even care
When the church takes a cut
Ain't it bleak when you got so much nothin'
(So whaddya do? Hey!)
Eat that pork
Eat that ham
Laugh till ya choke
On Billy Graham
Moses, Aaron 'n Abraham . . .
They're all a waste of time
and it's your ass that's on the line
(IT'S YOUR ASS THAT'S ON THE LINE)
Do what you wanna
Do what you will
Just don't mess up
Your neighbor's thrill
'N when you pay the bill
Kindly leave a little tip
And help the next poor sucker
On his one way trip . . .
SOME TAKE THE BIBLE . . .whoaaaaa...whoa....woah...oh yeaaaaaah
(Aw gimme a half a dozen for the hotel room!) |
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Mech
Joined: 06 Jun 2001
Posts: 8237
Location: THE 4th REICH USA |
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Thu Nov 25, 2004 7:30 pm
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Zappa Frank
Heavenly Bank Account
And if these words you do not heed
Your pocketbook just kinda might recede
When some man comes along and claims a godly need
He will clean you out right through your tweed
("That's right, you asked for it, remember there is a big difference
between kneeling down and bending over . . .")
He's got twenty million dollars
In his Heavenly Bank Account . . .
All from those chumps who was
"Born again"
Oh yeah, oh yeah
He's got seven limousines
And a private plane . . .
All for the use of his
"Special Friends"
Oh yeah, oh yeah
He's got thousand-dollar suits
And a Wembley Tie . . .
Girls love to stroke it
While he's on the phone
Oh yeah, oh yeah
At the House of Representatives
He's a groovy guy . . .
When he Gives Thanks
He is not alone . . .
He is dealin'
He is really dealin'
IRS can't determine
Where The Hook is
It is easy with the Bible
To pretend that
You're in Show Biz
(And a-one, and a-two, and a . . . )
They won't get him
They will never get him
For the naughty stuff
That he did
It is best in cases like this
To pretend that
You are stupid
(DOH . . . )
He's got Presidential Help
All along the way
He says the grace
While the lawyers chew
Oh yeah
They sure do
And the Governors agree to say:
"He's a lovely man!"
He makes it easier for
Them to screw
All of you . . .
Yes, that's true!
'Cause he helps put The Fear of God
In the Common Man
Snatchin' up money
Everywhere he can
Oh yeah
Oh yeah
He's got twenty million dollars
In his Heavenly Bank Account
You ain't got nothin', people
You ain't got nothin', people
You ain't got nothin', people
Thank the man . . . oh yeah |
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Mech
Joined: 06 Jun 2001
Posts: 8237
Location: THE 4th REICH USA |
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Fri Nov 26, 2004 1:29 am
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The Dead Kennedys:
Moral Majority
You call yourself the Moral Majority
We call ourselves the people in the REAL world
Trying to rub us out, but we're going to survive
God must be dead if you're alive
You say, 'God loves you. Come and buy the Good News'
Then you buy the president and swimming pools
If Jesus don't save.. 'til we're lining your pockets
God must be dead if you're alive
Circus-tent con-men and Southern belle bunnies
Milk your emotions then they steal your money
It's the new dark ages with the fascists toting bibles
Cheap nostalgia for the Salem Witch Trials
Stodgy ayatollahs in their dobble-knit ties
Burn lots of books so they can feed you their lies
Masturbating with a flag and a bible
God must be dead if you're alive
Blow it out your ass, Jerry Falwell
Blow it out your ass, Jesse Helms
Blow it out your ass, Ronald Reagan
What's wrong with a mind of my own?
You don't want abortions,... you want battered children
You want to ban the pill as if that solves the problem
Now you wanna force us to pray in school
God must be dead if you're such a FOOL.
You're planning for a war with or without Iran
Building a police state with the Ku Klux Klan
Pissed at your neighbour? Don't bother to nag
Pick up the phone and turn in a fag
Blow it out your ass, Terry Dolan
Blow it out your ass, Phyllis Schlafly
Ram it up your c*nt, Anita
Cos God must be dead
If you're alive
God must be dead
If you're alive |
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KNOW-THIS
Joined: 14 Jul 2003
Posts: 3694
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Tue Dec 07, 2004 9:49 pm
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http://www.nbc30.com/news/3968497/detail.html
Some See Jesus In Dental X-Ray
A Phoenix dentist and his staff say that an X-ray taken this week seems to contain an image resembling Jesus.
Does X-Ray Show Jesus?
"The patient came in for a routine exam on Tuesday. The image was revealed when the X-ray was developed.
The patient described himself as a devout Christian, but said he has never before seen Jesus in an X-ray.
The patient's dental exam was perfect."
_________________
"You find me offensive? I find you offensive, for finding me offensive" |
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Jeanie
Joined: 18 Nov 2001
Posts: 1323
Location: North East U.S.A. |
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Wed Dec 08, 2004 2:24 am
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"Does X-Ray Show Jesus?" What a lot of absurd nonsense, supposedly seeing
Jesus or Mary on the roof, in a window, and who knows where else. Don't you remember lying on the grass gazing at the clouds (that is when there were clouds) and seeing a dog, horse, womans face, a castle etc.? If I stare at my lace curtains long enough I can see objects. There is no bible example of Christ, Mary or anyone else appearing in these unlikely places. So it's the imagination of the foolish. Regards Christendom, they, all of them, have a lot to answer for, teaching things that directly contradict the inspired scriptures, and shamefully conduct themselves, lying, injuring innocent children, causing them long term harmful effects, blessing the war effort, and on an on an on...
"Not everyone saying to me Lord Lord, will enter into the kingdom of the heavens, but ***the one doing the will of my Father who is in the heavens will***, Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord did we not prophesy in your name, and perform many powerful works in your name ? And yet then I will confess to them, I never knew you ! Get away from me you workers of lawlessness." (Jesus speaking) Matthew 7:21 to 23 |
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