posted 06-21-2002 11:45 AM            

WARNING: do not try this at home!

---------------------------------------------

It has come to my attention that a real panic can be generated by a
bilderberger-bomb in a quietly organised NWO convention.

A bilderberger-bomb is a simple and inexpensive thing to make.

Materials:
----------
1 bilderberger - (any of them)
1 sparkler or 1 ft. of waterproof fuse
1 acetylene/oxygen torch
1 book of matches

Procedure:
----------
Squeeze all air and $#!^ out of bilderberger, being careful not to kill same.
Insert torch nozzle into bilderberger's ass.(try not to take too much pleasure in this act)
Turn on a 50/50 mixture of the gasses, inflating the bilderberger to approximately
1/3 larger than normal.
Insert either sparkler or fuse into bilderbergers ass being careful to minimize
gas release (some recommend stapling the orifice shut after insertion
of fuse) very messy!

Deployment:
-----------
Place bilderberger in a place of demonstration, and light fuse with matches.
Retire quickly to a safe place, (entrails will be a-flying soon)

posted 06-21-2002 10:28 PM            

Just for the record, I have buhddist like beliefs when it comes to living organisms... I don't even kill spiders or rats....

It's not meant to be taken literally!!

posted 08-15-2002 04:11 PM            

August 9, 2002 Posted: 4:21 PM EDT (2021 GMT)

BUENOS AIRES, Argentina (Reuters) -- Argentina's bankrupt government is notorious for writing checks to workers who have never showed up, but eyebrows were raised when an imaginary "goatsucker" showed up on payroll recently.

Registered as "goatsucker, male, born in 1900," the mythological figure blamed for animal maulings throughout Latin America is eligible to receive unemployment benefits of about $42 per month, local media reports said on Friday.

"It could be in doubt whether he deserves the money or not, but he is registered as a real person with an identity number and everything," a systems analyst investigating the case for the government of Catamarca province told television.

His name was not given.

Officials blamed the error on a technical glitch, saying the name may have been entered by a government employee, and the goatsucker would be eliminated from the benefits list as quickly as possible.

Excessive government spending and corruption are cited as the two root causes of Argentina's worst-ever economic crisis, which has left more than 21 percent of the workforce without jobs and half the nation living in poverty.

posted 09-20-2002 02:26 PM            

quote:

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Sept. 20, 2002, 2:01AM

Online 'smiley face' :-) turns 20
Reuters News Service

WASHINGTON -- It was 20 years ago that Scott Fahlman taught the 'Net how to smile.

The IBM researcher has devoted his professional life to artificial intelligence, the practice of teaching computers how to think like humans.

Fahlman is known for his work with neural networks -- a computer technique designed to mimic the human brain -- and helping develop Common Lisp, a computer language that uses symbols instead of numbers, but the bearded scientist is perhaps best known for a flash of inspiration that helped to define Internet culture, in all of its ungrammatical glory.

On Sept. 19, 1982, Fahlman typed :-) in an online message.

The "smiley face" has since become a staple of online communication, allowing 12-year-old girls and corporate lawyers alike to punctuate their messages with a quick symbol that says, "hey, I'm only joking."

Fahlman's innovation has since inspired countless other "emoticons" like ;-) to signify a wink or :-0 to show surprise.

"I've certainly spent 10 times as much time talking with people about it as I did coming up with it in the first place," Fahlman said from his Pittsburgh home. "Hopefully my actual research career will add up to more in the long run."

In the early 1980s, computer networks were rarely found outside university science departments and secretive government facilities.

But even then, discussions on primitive online "bulletin boards" could quickly turn nasty when touchy users misinterpreted remarks meant to be taken lightly.

After a particularly tangled joke about mercury contamination in an elevator, users of a Carnegie Mellon University bulletin board proposed a variety of markers for humorous comments, including +, %, &, () and --/.

Fahlman suggested :-), along with the admonition to "read it sideways." Before long, other bulletin board users were placing the smiley face in their messages. The practice spread as Internet users found the symbol useful as a rough approximation of a twinkle in the eye.

Predictably, the smiley face encountered a few frowns as the online population exploded.

"Humans have managed to communicate with the written word for thousands of years without strewing crudely fashioned ideograms across their parchments. It is as if the written word were a cutting-edge technology without useful precedents," groused Neal Stephenson in the New Republic in 1993.

Fahlman stands by his creation. "If Shakespeare were tossing off a quick note complaining about the lack of employee parking spaces near the Globe Theater, he might have produced the same kind of sloppy prose that the rest of us do," Fahlman writes on his Web site.

Yahoo!, Microsoft and America Online all incorporate emoticons into their instant-messaging systems, while telecom firms, jewelry makers and online retailers have filed trademark applications for products and slogans that incorporate Fahlman's smiley face.

But Fahlman has never seen a dime from his creation.

"If it cost people a nickel to use it, nobody would have used it. This is my little gift to the world, for better or worse," he said.

---

posted 09-20-2002 11:28 PM            

The smilie is celebrating.

posted 09-21-2002 02:47 PM            

quote:

---

Th' dialeckizer. Convaht this hyar thread t'a dialeck of yer choosin'. Jive an' Redneck is purdy funny. Give it a try. Notice th' usernames is also altered, cuss it all t' tarnation. hehe.

---

That is cool Alfy.

posted 10-30-2002 03:39 PM            

Trying this again. Hang on SNOOPY!

posted 12-28-2002 01:46 PM            

Electric Train LOL

A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her 8 year old son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son saying ..

"All of you bastards who want off, get the hell off now, 'cause this is the last stop! All of you bastards who are getting on, get your ass in the train, cause we're going down the tracks!"

The horrified mother went into the living room and told her son, "We dont use that kind oflanguage in this house! Now, I want you to go to your room, and stay there for 2 hours! When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language."

Two hours later, the son came out, and went to playing with his train. Soon the train stopped, and the mother heard her son say,

"All passengers who are disembarking the
train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for travelling with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one." He continued, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to
stow away your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."

As the mother began to smile, the child added,

posted 03-08-2003 12:44 PM            

old skool

I am Mario. I like to jump around, and would lead a fairly serene and aimless existence if it weren't for my friends always getting into trouble. I love to help out, even when it puts me at risk. I seem to make friends with people who just can't stay out of trouble. What Video Game Character Are You?

posted 03-08-2003 01:28 PM            

My results...