posted 02-15-2003 08:25 PM
My Redneck Valentine
Collards is green
my dawg's name is Blue
and I'm jest so lucky
to have a sweet thang like you.
Yore hair is like cornsilk
a-flapping in the breeze
Softer than old Blue's
and without all them fleas.
You move like the bass,
which excite me in May.
You ain't got no scales
but I luv you anyway.
Yo're as satisfy'n as okry
jist a-fry'n in the pan.
Yo're as fragrant as snuff
right out of the can.
You have som'a yore teeth,
for which I am proud;
I hold my head high
when we're in a crowd.
On special occasions,
you shave under yore arms,
well, I'm in hawg heaven,
and awed by yore charms.
Still them fellers at work,
they all want to know,
what I did to deserve
such a purdy, young doe.
Like a good roll of duct tape
yo're there fer yore man,
to patch up life's troubles
and fix all you can.
Yo're cute as a junebug
a-buzzin' overhead.
ain't mean like them far ants
I found in my bed.
Cut from the best cloth
like a plaid flannel shirt,
you spark up my life
more'n a fresh load of dirt.
When you hold me real tight
like a padded gunrack,
my life is so sweet;
Ain't nuttin' I lack.
Yore complexion's perfection,
like the best vinyl sidin'.
despite all them years,
yore age, it keeps hidin'.
We's like a Moon Pie
with a RC cold drank,
we go together
like skunk goes with stank.
Some men, they buy chocklit
fer Valentine's Day;
They git it at Wal-Mart,
it's romantic that way.
Some men git roses
on that special day
from the cooler at Kroger.
"That's impressive," I say.
Some men buy fine jewry
from a flea market booth.
"Diamonds is fer ever,"
they 'splain, suave and couth.
But for this man, darlin,
them jus won't do.
Cause yo're way too special,
you sweet thang you.
I got you a present,
without taste nor odor,
more useful than diamonds...
IT'S A NEW TROLLIN' MOTOR!!
Yipeeee....Yee Ha!
Chemtrail Central Forum
UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone! 
posted 02-14-2003 10:17 AM
posted 02-14-2003 04:38 PM
posted 02-14-2003 09:03 PM
posted 02-15-2003 08:25 PM
